Caution: Dogs

Warning: Treats

Caution: People

#ExplainAPlotBadly

#ExplainAPlotBadly

-Alec the Introvert

If I Were in Charge of the World

By Alec Fitton

If I were in charge of the world,

What an interesting world that would be.

I would remove from the world

War,

Poverty,

Animal endangerment/ Climate change,

And the idea of democracy, since I’m going to be a single ruler with full power.

If I were in charge of the world,

People would all be well educated and successful,

People wouldn’t take offence to every small comment someone makes,

People would always be open to hugs,

And people would have tails (because tails are cool).

If I were in charge of the world,

We would increase the brain capacity of dolphins to the point of sentience,              where they will then build sea colonies and help advance space technology.

There would be a new primary color,

And there would be enough resources for everyone.

If I were in charge of the world,

No one would pull on a push door,

No one would push on a pull door,

No one would question my rule,

And all people would be blue, as to stop racism.

If I were in charge of the world,

It would be quite interesting.

Until the time when I would wake up in my bed,

And be late for school.

Inspiration

Jimmy Quote

Lives of Mice: Why?

Lives of Mice

I wonder why, despite mice having longer telomeres than humans, they have a significantly shorter life span. Of course, telomere shortening is not necessarily a main factor to aging and lifespan, but it is still of course an important factor. Perhaps humans have more telomerase than mice do. Perhaps the size of the creature, and at what rate the cells divide at, could be possible factors. I assume that a mouse’s cells may be smaller than a person’s, which I assume means that the cells must divide faster. I think this because a smaller cell doesn’t need to build up as much mass before it reaches its dividing point, unlike a larger cell. Because the cells are dividing quicker, the telomeres shorten much faster than a human’s, so if this is the case then it would make sense that the telomeres are much longer. Once again, of course telomeres are not the dictators of someone’s lifespan, it is a combination of factors.

If was wrong about anything I would love to be corrected. Much of this was based more on my logical assumption (which is not very logical) than fact. Obviously, the things I simply thought of have the words perhaps, if, or assume. This was more of talk than something you should use on a science report.

Telomeres: Repeating sequences on the ends of chromosomes. They prevent DNA from being removed when the strands are being copied.

Telomerase: They copy the ends on DNA, preventing them from getting shorter.

ABC's of Awkward

The Uhh… ABZ-I Mean ABC’s Of Being Awkward

Answer or respond to a different question than what they were actually asking. (ex.: “How are you today?” “Yes.”)

Bad jokes that don’t make sense. Your audience will either stand there silently, nervously laugh while trying to figure out what the joke was, or beat you up.

Change the subject randomly, but try not to give the idea that you are really running out of ideas/things to say. (ex.: “And that’s my personal opinion on our government’s tax law.” “Cool… So... Do you like spongebob?”)

Direct your attention to the snack table, that’s where it’s more reasonable to not say anything because you face is stuffed with pretzels.

End things abruptly (ex.: “Well I had a great time with you today.” “Bye.”)

Find the one person in the room you will silently stand by for the rest of the night. Only say hi and maybe ask for their name.

Give short answers

Have an entire conversation planned out in your head, but when the other person says something not apart of your plan, everything falls apart

Introduce yourself to people. Then before they initiate a conversation, walk away.

Joke about topics you know nothing about.

Keep on talking after you accidentally insult someone and continually make it worse, then get confused when they start to cry.

Laugh at jokes from conversations you are eavesdropping on

Mumble

Nod your head whenever it is silent during a conversation

Open the door to the bathroom when someone is in there. At this point you can either hastily apologize and shut the door, or you can proceed to walk into the bathroom and wash your hands.

Pessimistic attitude (ex.: “Are you enjoying the party?” “I hate everyone here.”)

Quit talking to someone randomly and still continue to stand there

Respond to questions that were not for you

Stutter

Think that someone was saying hi to someone behind you, until you finally realize an hour later they were talking to you and say you hi back.

Umm...

Vacate the area once everyone else has left and the party’s over. Or just sleep there. The owner may pity your pathetic soul.

Wait two seconds before responding to everything someone says.

X marks the spot, right there in the corner. Just for you. This is your home.

Your phone is out of battery at every event, so you can’t even try to look at least casually alone. Just stand there.

Zebras are pretty cool (back to letter C)

My Motto

       To know that you are being instructed to do have a certain objective, and are not supposed to decide what you do yourself, what is the point really? To have the freedom to give life your own personal meaning, is a truer meaning of life, at least in my eyes.